Well, sorry for caring more about what job I will have for the rest of my life than rescheduling my piano lesson, mom
I’m such a childish person, I know
This is probably the last time I’m willing to talk about social justice issues on this site since honestly I am getting tired of it. I thought tumblr had a queer community accepting people of all sexualities/genders. But honestly whenever I try to reach or communicate with the trans or non binary people here on tumblr I just get comforted with bigotry. If no one hates cis people because of their gender identity then how can you excuse this? I know cis people aren’t discriminated for being cisgender in real life and transphobia and hate crimes against trans people is a real serious thing but really? I understand people that are frustrated because they have to deal with cis people that are assholes, but being an asshole has nothing to do with your gender or sexuality. What you are doing is a fucking broad uncalled generalization.
Why is it so hard not to judge each other for their sexuality/gender?Why do you invalidate someone’s struggles purely because they’re cis? Fucking dare to tell my friends to suck up parental abuse because cishets have nothing to complain about and aren’t allowed to be offended or feel hurt.What would your family feel about you because they are probably cis scum in your eyes?
You are fighting fire with fire, you aren’t accomplishing anything for trans/queer acceptance. You’re not fighting for rights or understanding of queer people. You’re all just making yourself look like a close-minded ass. To be honest? You failed me, as a trans person to feel comfortable in your queer-friendly safe space.
This is my general opinion I want to give out to the public. I’m probably going to get hate out of this but this is what had bothered me for so long.
Freakishly strong coffee update #1
THIS TASTES FUCKING HORRIBLE WHY AM I DRINKING THIS SHIT
“From Kouichi to Kouji…”
Before I went to the Digital World, I’d feel a sudden and deep loneliness come over me as I walked through crowds like these. Even when I was laughing along with my friends, I would feel pangs of sadness. I didn’t know what the problem was, but now, I think I do.
Kouji. I think it was because I wasn’t with you.
[The train doors open. KOUICHI steps in and the doors close behind him]
Kouji. It’s our birthday today. I’d always be happy whenever my birthday came around, but now, it’s even better. It’s a birthday that you and I share together. I was really happy when I asked if we could meet on our birthday and you immediately said OK… especially since I haven’t been able to see much of you these days. I’m really looking forward to today.
It was Grandma who told me that I had a twin brother. Kouji. I was really surprised that first time I heard your name. Normally, stuff like that would be hard to believe. It sounds like a twisted joke. I thought I was an only child, and here I find out that I have a younger twin brother.
But strangely enough, I was able to believe it right away— Believe that I had a brother who was born on the same day as me… believe that you were out there.
I wanted to see you. That was my most immediate thought. I wanted to see you so badly that I couldn’t stand still and not do something about it. That’s why I chased after you.
I still feel guilt whenever I think about the time I was Duskmon. How could I have hurt you and Takuya and the others so readily? There are times when I feel really wretched upon remembering… but whenever I see you smile, I feel better.
You found me, and you saved me. While I was in the hospital, the doctors and nurses would often tell me that it was a miracle that I was still alive. They said I was able to wake up because you, Takuya, and the others called to me on the bed.
I did hear your voice. I think it was because you called out to me that I was able to come back to life.
…I’m being saved by you all the time, aren’t I?
We’ve been talking to each other through the phone ever since then, but even if my day went really badly, I cheer up upon hearing your voice. This isn’t something I could ever say to your face, but… I think being able to talk to you like this now is the real miracle. I really do.
Kouji. There’s something I have to apologize to you about today. I couldn’t prepare a birthday present for you.
It’s not that I forgot! I’d never do that!
You might laugh at me, but… I kept thinking about it every day for the past month. What could I give you that would make you happy? That’s all I could think about. I think this may be the first time in my life that I’d ever spent that much time worrying over something.
While I was thinking about it, I got a little depressed. Because… I realized that I didn’t know what to give you at all! Normally, if you’re siblings with someone, you should be able to tell what they like or what they’d want, right? But even though we’re brothers… I still don’t know that much about you.
That’s why I couldn’t prepare a gift… because I got caught up thinking about that. You’re nice, so I think you’ll be happy with whatever I give you, but—
It isn’t much of a substitute, but, I brought a cake. Mom made it. She decorated it with our names, too. We can put candles on it and blow them out together. I know having birthday cake on your birthday is really conventional, but I want to spend this birthday doing conventional things like that with you.
Also, there’s something today that I want to bring up. We talk to each other on the phone every day, right? I think that’s fine, of course, and it’s the only way we can keep in touch since we live far away from each other… but… I still want to see you more. I’d have to take a lot of transfers on the trains to do it, so the train fare won’t be something to laugh at, but— calling each other on the phone just isn’t enough for me.
That’s why I asked my mom if, instead of getting the soccer ball I’d wanted as my birthday present, she could give me some money. I told her I wanted to use it to buy a train pass and go see you.
I want to go visit you this time, just like how you came to visit me while I was in the hospital. There’s not really anything in particular I want to do when I’m with you… just see your face… and laugh with you and talk about nothing.
I want to know more about you! If I told you that, what sort of expression would you make?
[The train stops and the door opens. KOUICHI steps out]
I’m almost there. Kouji. What should I say first when I see you?
Happy Birthday? That sounds a bit too conventional. There should be something more—
Oh, I know. Here is what I’ll say.
Thank you, Kouji… for being born with me.
“From Kouji to Kouichi…”
Before I went to the Digital World, I’d often thought that the world may be filled with a lot of people — but we’re all still strangers to one another. In the end, you must live your life on your own. That’s why I was always alone.
But now… I’m not.
[Bell rings, signaling that the train doors are closing]
Kouichi. Today is our birthday. It’s the first birthday we’ll be celebrating together ever since we met. I’ve always had other people celebrate my birthday for me before, but today will be different. Today, we’ll be celebrating it for each other. It feels kind of strange. But I’m looking forward to it.
While we were in the Digital World, Takuya and Tomoki would often talk about their siblings. Takuya would always keep saying how cute his brother is, while Tomoki would always complain about the times he fought with his brother. Whenever they heard that, Junpei and Izumi would say how they wished they could have siblings, too, instead of being the only child. It’s not that I had never thought the same as they did, but I didn’t really have anything to say about it. I mean, you can’t get a sibling just by wanting one.
But then you appeared, Kouichi. My twin.
I guess I wasn’t too surprised. I mean, I was a bit, but I was able to believe rather easily that we were brothers. It made me happy. This isn’t something I could ever say to your face, but… I really was happy.
But a little while after I met you, I realized that I was disgusted with myself a bit. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I couldn’t do it very well at all. The more I kept thinking that I had to talk about something, the more clueless I felt on what exactly I should talk about. Back then, I wished from the bottom of my heart that I was able to talk to you like Takuya and the others did— Although now, that’s something I can look back and laugh at.
Oh, yes. It’s become a routine for us to talk over the phone every day. Lately, whenever something interesting happens, you’re the first person I think about telling. It’s a little strange to see me react like that, after the person I’d used to be. But it doesn’t feel bad.
I can always talk to you on the phone, but I’ve been thinking that it isn’t enough these days. If only we lived closer. Then I’d be able to see you more.
The other day, I saw a variety program on TV about a pair of twins. Have you seen it? These twins answered the host’s questions in exactly the same way. Even when their eyes were clothed or when they were put into separate rooms— they were somehow able to figure out what the other was thinking.
Apparently, twins have some sort of telepathic link. Do you think we have something like that? I’d like it if we did. Lately, I’ve been thinking that I wish I knew you better.
I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what I should give you for a birthday present. What could I give you that would make you happy? I kept thinking about it, and I ended up thinking about it so much that I got a headache. If we had telepathy just like those TV twins, then maybe I’d be able to tell right away what you want.
[Sighs] A present…
In the end, I couldn’t come up with anything.
I’m sure you’ll be happy with just about anything I give you, but I don’t want to give you something so half-hearted.
So, it might not be much of a substitute, but I brought an apple pie. My mom made it. Her pies taste the best, so I think you’ll like it, too.
Mom and I are doing well. I’ve never called her “Mom” before all this time, but now I’m used to saying it to her, so there are no worries there.
How is your mother doing? I heard that work is tough for her… is she okay? You seemed really worried about her, so I’m worried about her, too. I wish I could do something for you and your mother. It’s times like this that I hate being an elementary school student. If I were an adult, I’m sure I’d be able to do something about it. I wish I can be an adult soon. I really do.
Say, Kouichi. What do you want to be when you grow up? I think I’d like to talk to you today about our dreams. My dream is to travel around the world. Before I went to the Digital World, I wrote on my “What I Want to Do When I Grow Up” essay in school that I wanted to travel the world on my own. But now, I’ve given up on the “on my own” part.
Of course, I think it’s possible for me to do it alone. But I think it’ll be more fun if it were two people instead. Two people who will see things together, laugh together, and talk about nothing as they circle the world.
Kouichi. If I asked you to come with me, what sort of expression would you make?
[The train stops and the door opens. KOUJI steps out]
Kouichi. I’ll be meeting you soon. What should I say first when I see you?
Happy Birthday? That doesn’t sound very exciting…
Oh, I know. Here is what I’ll say.
Thank you, Kouichi… for being born with me.
Kouichi and Kouji moment during find a digicode
And you’ve been taking me for
I thought you’d feel the same as me
It’s time that I come clean,
Butfor now can we just both pretend to sleep
Sometimes the one you want is
notthe one you need
What goes around don’t come
You should know me by now
by the way im cooling off that coffee outside in the cold because I CANNOT DRINK HOT/WARM COFFEE FOR THE LIFE OF ME
like ice coffe and simple cold coffee are okay i guess
BUT HOT COFFEE IS JUST UGH NO THANK YOU I’LL GO RETCH